


I Do Bite My Thumb, Sir

by anonymous_sibyl



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Experimental Format, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-23
Updated: 2006-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-03 15:26:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_sibyl/pseuds/anonymous_sibyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bonnie Bell makes twenty-six varieties of Lip Smackers. Lilly Kane owns them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Do Bite My Thumb, Sir

**Author's Note:**

> Contains major spoilers for Season One of _Veronica Mars._ The format was inspired by [](http://glossing.livejournal.com/profile)[**glossing**](http://glossing.livejournal.com/)'s story [Not My Memory](http://www.exitseraphim.net/glossings/cordygetslaid.html). Thanks to [](http://alixnoorchis.livejournal.com/profile)[**alixnoorchis**](http://alixnoorchis.livejournal.com/) for the beta, any mistakes are mine, not hers.
> 
> This work is licensed under a [Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/). None of the media or characters written about in my fanfiction belong to me and I make no profit from these works.

She can totally afford the expensive lipstick, but she'd rather go down to some big chain store and buy that slick, sticky stuff that makes her lips shine like she's been up to something dirty. No tacky five-finger discount for her, not like when some of the 09ers go slumming, Lilly whips out her credit card and pays in full. That's a multi-fold bonus, you know? It pisses off Celeste, who mutters things about the Clinique counter--which is for people who are both older and way more middle class than Lilly, thanks anyway, _mother_\--and it makes her feel, you know, normal or something. Like she's the kind of girl who buys lipgloss and then kisses her boyfriend.

Which she is, in a way. Not in that pure Veronica-kissing-Duncan kind of way, because that probably tastes all waxy, like Chapstick, and, also, boring. They've got that "one true love" thing going on and, damn, V, is that going to crash and burn. Always does. They read _Romeo and Juliet_ last year in school, Lilly knows what that sort of love gets you: Totally screwed.

"Wherefore art thou, _Romeo_," she says, and giggles when Veronica looks at her like she needs a trip to Betty Ford. "Damn. Smudged my eyeliner."

V hands her a tissue and she uses it to clear away the streak. She's got this thing about her eyes, they've got to be perfect. When she's done, she bats her lashes at Veronica, who applauds.

"Very Russian mafia."

Lilly starts to curtsy, then decides to cross one arm over her waist and one around her back, and take a bow. It's way much more stage show or something. Then her pre-date ritual: check the hair, one last smear of gloss, hoist up the boobs, and she's good to go. The devil is, as Lilly knows, in the details.

The devil is...  
  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
...fumbling between her legs like he's playing a video game or something, and he gets points for pressing the button. He's got a total A-B-C-A-A rhythm going on, and, frankly, she would have expected that sort of thing from Dick, the big loser, but she had been hoping for more from him.

After all, his father is, like, famous and everything.

At least Logan isn't a total waste of space like that starfucker sister of his. If she could break him of this lame habit, he might not be so bad.

"Oh, yeah, baby," she says, and "Oh, Logan!"

He thinks they're pretty much perfect for each other and who is she to argue? It's not as if she wants to start fucking Dick or anything.

He's funny, just about as unhappy as she sometimes is, and even less likely to want to sit down and talk about it, which is totally cool with her. This is taking forever, though, and she's got things to do, so she tugs his hand up and away, but he's still playing games with the other one, so, bored, she licks his fingers. His eyes about pop out of his head and she can taste herself on her tongue.

| ...ramming into her, just pounding her pussy like he's some sort of porn star. For all Lilly knows he made pornos, back in the day, like in the Seventies. She could ask Logan, but he doesn't like to talk about what his dad does now, so the porn question is probably off-limits. Whatever.

Still, interesting. Something to think about.

It's not like she wants to watch Aaron getting it on with anyone else, anyway. He's totally hers, at least right now, and she's totally his.

"You like that, baby?" he grunts out. "You like it when I fuck you?"

She thinks she's supposed to say yes, because she totally does like it, but she thinks about saying no just to see what happens.

He's older, and famous, and anybody who ever took a psychology class would tell her she's fucking her way into Daddy's heart, but, um, Lilly's not the one with the incestuous issues. Aaron likes young bodies, and she likes a man who screws like he means it. She must look like she isn't paying attention, because Aaron grabs her by the throat and roughly shoves his tongue in her mouth.

| ...crouched between her thighs, whispering endearments in Spanish across her clit. She knows what he's saying, duh, you don't grow up an 09er and not know Spanish, not if you want to know what the maids are saying about your much beloved mother behind her back.

The maids, FYI, think Celeste is a frigid bitch.

Weevil does not think Lilly is a frigid bitch and she's never asked him what he thinks of her mother. They don't talk about family. They don't talk at all.

"_Mi corazón_," he whispers, and, "_querida_."

He thinks she's beautiful, sexy, her pussy tastes like honey, and the touch of her inner thighs on the sides of his face is making him crazy.

He's really hot, and really good to her, and she likes him. There's no way she can, like, be with him or anything, but she's okay with that. And he'd totally knock over her house for drug money or whatever, and she's okay with that, too. Weevil lets her be who she is, at least while they're fucking, and that's why she's here. Well, that and that thing he's doing with his tongue that makes her all squirmy.  
  
---|---|---  
  
"Oh! Oh, oh, oh!"  
---  
  
  
  
  
She knows Veronica hates it when she does that _When Harry Met Sally_ thing during lunch. Dick snickers, Logan bows to an imaginary audience, and Madison, that priss, pretends she doesn't hear. Veronica lowers her eyes and shifts uncomfortably, so Duncan puts his arm around her shoulders and squeezes. Aw, sweet. The only time Logan puts his arm around her, he tries to grab her boob, which, you know, she's got great ones, but still. Let 'em breathe. | How Veronica can whisper an "oh" Lilly will never know. You're supposed to scream when you're coming, and if you're not screaming, it's because you're biting your hand to keep the noise down because your lover's wife/mother/grandmother is in the next room. Anyway, she's not supposed to be home, so Veronica has no reason to be quiet, so, Lilly figures, she and Duncan are probably cuddling or making out sweetly while whispering "I love yous." Let it go.  
---|---  
  
"Oh my God," Veronica says.

Jeez, might have been nice if V had summoned up some enthusiasm. It's not every day something like this happens. First time for everything, right? If Lilly were in her place, she'd be screaming her head off until everyone had to stop and pay attention.

Of course, Veronica has never been into that whole "look at me, look at me" thing. She's all "hide behind the white dress" but what she doesn't get, and Lilly does, is that you can so totally hide behind Attention Whore better than you ever can behind Virgin Princess. Look at how many people think--_thought?_\--Lilly was stupid, some vapid whore who deserved what she got. God, she loves--_loved?_\--that phrase: vapid whore. It's so New Hollywood, all dark sunglasses and reality TV. All the things she always wanted to be.

God, V, do something already. Like, seriously. Don't just sit there like you're dead.

"Oh my God," Veronica says, this time with a little more force, and that pleases Lilly.  
  
---  
  
  
  
  
Veronica is all over Duncan. Lilly would be jealous and all, but he does kind of look like he's about to go all Margot Kidder and, realistically, he probably needs Veronica more than she does right now.

Is that, like, Lamb touching her? Shouldn't someone be checking her clothes for evidence or something? Someone other than that perv who she could swear just touched her ass. Can someone do something about that before he goes all necrophiliac on her?

Maybe if she watched the kind of movies that were about true crime instead of true love she would have been prepared for what happened next. As it is, it takes her totally by surprise.

When they start to zip up the body bag, Lilly looks away.

| Duncan is all over Veronica. Lilly would be jealous and all, but she can see how it's all going to hit the fan someday and, realistically, these two need each other more than she needs anything right now.

God, it's almost cute the way Duncan pushes up Veronica's white dress and slips his thumbs in the sides of her panties. Veronica lifts her hips and laughs when her panties--and Duncan's hands--get tangled somewhere around her thighs.

It's so totally like a movie. Something from the Eighties with Molly Ringwald as Veronica and Andrew McCarthy as Duncan. James Spader is so totally Logan, and Lilly... yeah, whatever.

When Duncan starts to take off his own clothes, Lilly looks away.  
  
---|---  
  
So, "looks away" is, like, a relative term, because Lilly never really looks away. Duncan thinks she's talking to him, but he's just crazy, and Veronica wouldn't hear her if she said a word, not even if Lilly stood right in front of her and said, "nice hair, V," meaning, yeah, no, not so much, but I totally get why you had to chop it all off and, hey, at least your hair doesn't have blood in it for eternity or something.

Aside from the blood, she looks totally cute. The dress they buried her in has decent cleavage, and this embalming thing makes her boobs look terrific. For the first time ever she can lie on her back and they don't fall to the sides. She is going to die laughing if Logan touches them at the funeral.

Turns out it's Veronica who touches her, bending down for a first (last, only) kiss that's sticky sweet and smudges the Clinique liptstick, coating Lilly's lips with gloss. Damn, is Celeste going to be pissed.

Way to go, V.  
  
---


End file.
